June 0.5 - On Forgiveness
Updated: Apr 24, 2020
Someone I considered a friend did something deliberate to hurt me. I can’t remember the last time anyone was so malicious or with ill intent towards me. This person told a lie. One that was designed to destroy my confidence, to affect my future. I am still shocked by how deep the ill feelings this person must have had, to make up a lie like this, knowing the implications. It happened just out of nowhere. We didn’t have a fight or any occurrence to suggest that we were not on good terms.
This occurrence has led me to think about forgiveness for the better part of these past two weeks. It takes getting hurt to remember that forgiveness is not an easy thing to give. I have let this person know that I am aware of this malicious act. I am now faced with the task of forgiving. We are all called to forgive but it is not easy.
Most of my life, I’ve been fortunate enough to surround myself with well meaning people. I’ve had instances where I’ve been wronged and had to forgive but nothing quite like this. Some of the past situations have been from well meaning people who may have acted unintentionally. But the instance from last week was just evil, from a person who didn’t wish me well. Until now, I’ve always thought, naively, that forgiveness was something that I could always manage to give, relatively easily.
In many ways I feel like I need to forgive, to move past this. Or maybe I just need to forget this person. Either way, I’m really struggling to let it go. How do you move past the fact that someone whom you considered a friend means you such harm? I would love to hear how you do it. This is an eye opener for me. Reminds me to think deeply about whom I consider my friends. It also reminds me that not everyone that ‘acts’ friendly is actually your friend.
In addition to ruminating about forgiveness. The events of these past two weeks have been about considering self worth. It’s been a reminder that we should not measure our abilities or achievements by the yard stick of others. You know your worth. Be truthful to yourself, know your limits, but do not let anyone keep you from being your best self. Do not let anyone keep you from thriving. I’ve come out of the first half of June stronger, happier, and with a boost in my confidence. Happy Monday and I hope you have a great week!