• Anwuli Anyah

May 0.5 - Creating Special Time with Loved Ones, the Impromptu Lunch Date.

Updated: Apr 24, 2020

It was the highlight of my past couple of weeks. Lunch with my husband does not happen as often as I would like, because we have work responsibilities during the day, as do most people. But I am always so grateful whenever I am able to grab a quick bite with him in the middle of a busy day. It’s happened only a handful of times but they are fond memories. It’s hitting a pause button, and getting refreshed together without Tobe around. We try to only discuss leisurely topics but somehow always end up talking about our son Tobe. After lunch, we go back to work and look forward to seeing each other in the evening. It is the best feeling having that extra time in the middle of the day. These dates remind me of our dating days, when we didn't have much to worry about and could just sit, eat, and be with each other.

I encourage you to go on a few lunch dates with your significant other or close friend. No matter how busy you are, you can do this maybe twice a year. For me, it is usually not planned because I technically don’t have lunch breaks. Clinic days almost always run late and take up the allocated lunch time. Surgery days have no scheduled lunches. But once in a while, 30 minutes to 1 hour of my day frees up. When this happens, I call my husband and if it also works out for him, we meet for a quick bite. Sometimes it is in the hospital cafeteria.

A few seconds of special time with the family has a substantial effect on boosting morale. On long shifts, Patrick and Tobe sometimes stop by the hospital for a quick hello and kiss. These moments brighten my day. I am a fan of quick phone or video calls to my son and my husband as I get through a busy day. If your life does not afford you the luxury of sufficient time with your loved ones, these little moments you can incorporate into your day adds up. Like with anything else in life, every little bit helps.

In spending time with our loved ones, it is important to ensure that it is quality time. With all the readily available distractions, this is a work in progress for me. I am always working on trying to have the TV off and putting my cellphone away during my playtime with Tobe. I work on having conversations with him. In the past weeks, he is starting to make sentences with at least 4-5 words and its been amazing to get a glimpse of what’s going on in his wonderful head. Everyday, he does something that makes me proud of his development, something that surprises me, something that shows how much love he has in his heart for me, his father, his uncle Peter, and just everyone around him.

Tobe may be sweet but he is still a toddler. He thinks his is the only opinion that matters. His baseline is to oppose every suggestion. I spend a decent amount of time convincing him on reasons why he should not climb on the TV stand, sit on the dining table, spit in his cup. I’m like a sales person, trying to sell him the advantages of underwear and clothes, of eating food, of not eating the piece of nasty candy he found under the couch. I have found out that just saying no does not work for him now that he‘s older. He follows instructions better when I give him an explanation.

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